Reviving the sleeping blog...

Today, I am finally reviving my blog which launched June 2006. Its been two years since this blog was sleeping. I hope I can justify enlivening it. Ganbaru!

empty

i hope i could write well again... after that downfall incident i could hardly construct a nice composition... my brain isn't working well... got no inspiration to do so... i ran out of it... brint it back please!!!

a moment of misery

I was scanning through my email and my eye caught the message with his name as recipient. it was an old mail and it was already read but i stil opened it. i can't stop but feel so down. the message was implying that he was bridging a gap between us. that's because sumbdy owns his heart now... i came to realize that he was really someone so special to me and i sumhow regret walking out of his life. but i knew that this shud and must happen. i prayed for his happiness and i want him to stray with it. with sum1 hul luv him 4ever... :(

More Drained

Whew! Didn't i post juz lately dat i felt so drained today? well, that was before i felt more drained lately. know y? i juz got into fight wid my damn bro! he was grounded for a week now and his celfon is confiscated. it ws n my posesion and he knew it. he need it badly and asked for it. i told hm to ask permissn to mom first bt it wasnt given. he constantly askd it fm me but i stood firm not to give in.

i was browsing the internet then when he approachd me wid hs voice filled with anger but i gave no response. he went out the house and stayed with my grandma. after an hour or two, i left the internet and searched for my phone when i realized it was nowhere to be found. i knew then that it was in his possession as a revenge. i then went to my grandma's house, which is juz a few walks away, entered the room and talked to him.

i talked to him nicely and even giving jokes so i won't be too furious about hiding my phone. i searched for it the entire room but there was none. he was killing my patience and it did. i almost scream but i was still in my composure until my uncle called me and handed me my phone. i was relieved. i still went into the room and pretended that it wasn't in my possession yet. knowing that he won't give it to me, i went out and returned home.

i quickly entered the room and lied on bed feeling out of breath bcoz of d incident. my younger sis hastily searched for something. i thought of nothing when she went to me, grabbed my arm and got my VS (vital signs) so, my BP read 80/50 i don't know wat d implication! she then took my heartbeat and it's 96beats/sec. instead of being so furious of wat hapend, i was relieved by her. i managed to be composed bcoz i don't want to get into a deeper wound with him again.

help me get through with this!!

Drained

Today was such a tiring day for me. i dunno why but these past few days seemed to be a burden. juz as i arrived home from work my body juz lifelessly lie on bed and the next thing? i woke up with sun's rays peering me.

the first month of this year juz made me the most happiest woman on earth. did i say that correctly? most? happiest? whew! never mind i juz felt that way... inspiration juz drew me a lot of happiness in everything i did. i never thought it would end up killing me. and now i haven't yet stood up on the grave i was buried. my heart was not yet set to fill up another inspiring story in my life but i am still struggling to regain the "ME" in me!

i dunno if you guyz understand me coz it seemed that i didn't understand either! haha... but this is juz my first and absolutely won't be the last post. i can't post this on my friendster account since i don't want my frenz know what i gone through and felt right now. so guyz, juz bear wit me. ok?